our blog

09/10/24 - Hii!!! I kind of got hyperfixated on Supernatural. I may be obsessed...... I have nothing else to say. -Kaz

09/1/24 - Hi just deleted the last two entries to completely scrub our shitty ex out of our life. LMAO -????

07/29/24 - Another good day. Go, us! I cleaned up our apartment a bit (Christ, never realized what a pigsty we live in, lol. Blame the ADHD..). Also worked out and, if you know anything about us, you know that's something we basically never do other than when Maddie's fronting. Which, tbf, Maddie has been fronting most of the day. I don't think I'm Maddie though. I'm just here keeping her in check. She pushes us too hard a lot of times. Today was a good day for her too though, and I'm so proud of her. When we were doing our post-workout stretches, things were just.. so calm. So then I did some guided meditation. When we came out of it, we were kind of dissociating but in, like, a good way? I don't know how to describe it. It was nice. Not scary like it usually is. When I get done writing this, I'm going to do the dishes then maybe read for a bit. We're halfway through Safe, closer to the end than the beginning, I think. It's somewhat triggering but not overtly so. MJ, Luci, and Lola really really seem to enjoy it. They keep fronting and reading together. I guess it makes a lot of sense. I'd like to read it with just Maddie and I today though. Spent the day with my niece last night too! She's only nine but we get along very well. And she's an absolute sweetheart and has been sleeping over a lot this summer. It was really fun, though I bet MJ's glad that the sleepovers will cease once college starts, lol. He doesn't really like fronting and finding out that he has to play babysitter... not the rest of us though. We love kids. S messaged us today. S is.. or, was, kind of like Lola's boyfriend? He doesn't know that we have DID and honestly, I'm not super sure we can tell him... It's weird. Anywho, here's the rest of our to-do list so that I don't forget! Tirzah has special paper for it but I really don't want to waste her things.

I think that's it? If not, oh well. We can do the rest tmrw. See ya! -Maddie and Jazmine (?)

07/27/24 - We had a pretty good day today! Super dissociated right now, so things are super blurry and out of focus like a dream world and I just feel sick, but that didn't start until just a few moments ago. We started reading Safe by S.K. Barnett today (or maybe we started last night? I don't remember), which has been pretty interesting so far. Hopefully it'll be the first book we review. Also!! Made the website. Granted we snatched a lot of it from CodePen. but still. We're still overly focused on our own breathing, but we didn't have any issues with swallowing. last night, tirzah panicked as she was trying to swallow food and choked. it was really scary! but everythings ok now, and we havent had any problems with eating. we had toaster waffles, a sandwich, and some plums today, and later well eat chicken. tirzahs been terrified of food lately so its nice to get in three meals without having crippling anxiety about it. went to the doc yesterday. she was new and very sweet. we cried in front of her which was REALLY embarrassing, especially considering it was our first time meeting.. well, whatever. shes a pediatrician wont be with her for long anyways. we had a panic attack a couple of days ago. like an actual real true panic attack (we dont get those). we were home alone and atlas and luci had just fronted and everything just broke. we were mostly calmed down by the time our mom got home. we didnt tell her what happened, even though she tried to push. she really wouldnt understand and even if she did, we would hate to dissapoint her. thats probably maddie. shes such a perfectionist and shes been influencing us a lot lately. anyways, we had a site before this and i might move the blog entries from there over here. might. if i feel like it later. oh shit i think we just switched? im mj i think. yeah, mj. thats crazy. i guess thats why we were dissociating so hard... didnt even realize i was switching in. didnt miss a beat typing. how weird is that shit? im starting to come out of the dissociation now, just a little. anyways i dont even remember what else we were typing so im going now. -mj

congrats on making it all the way down ^.^